


Keys to the Heart

by Doctor Bertmin (helloyessadness)



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/M, Literally one of the biggest harem fanfictions ever.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-19 17:03:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1477297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloyessadness/pseuds/Doctor%20Bertmin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not mine, I got permission to crosspost by the author.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

> Disclaimer: I only own my OC, everyone else is owned by ZUN, etc. My first fanfic ever. It's risky to write this so close to exams, but if I don't, I'm going to be distracted all the time, so here we are. Let's see, how should I introduce this? After reading "Average Joe in Bullet Hell", I followed the author's recommendations and read "Crossing the Border", "Unparalleled Ayakashi Incident" and "Touhou Chronicles". So far, I'm quite impressed by them, but then I thought, 'What happens if there's a MC that's even more lacking in power?' I have most of the routes fleshed out in my mind already, hopefully I can recall them long enough to write them out satisfactorily. If I were to put a synopsis to this, the most straightforward thing would be 'Yukari decides to strand a human from the Outside World in Gensokyo'. Certainly not anything new by the Touhou standards, but getting everyone else to participate... that's where the fun would start, I think. Doubt I'll put in anything like a Big Bad, though there will be fighting.

* * *

# 1\. Prologue: Nice Bait

"Damn it, nothing's sinking in." I mutter quietly, my voice going unnoticed over the soft whispering of the other students in the library. Glancing at my notes in frustration, I close my eyes and try to recite the properties and uses of the drugs listed in front of me. "Salbutamol, beta-2 agonist, used against asthmatic attacks, its side effect is..."

It's less than a week to my exams, and while my grades are barely average, the harsh competiveness within my cohort of students has forced me to resort to the most basic study method: rote memorization. It's a hard way, but I'm desperate enough to take it. So far, I've used up five sheets of paper just writing things down over and over, and it's working somewhat.

I stand up and head for the toilet, intending to wash my face for a bit of wakeup, before I return to my studies once more.

_[In Gensokyo]_

The girls are drinking...

It is a grand party they are having this day. Even Hinanai Tenshi, the Celestial that most of them detest, is present, not to mention Fujiwara no Mokou and Princess Kaguya, though those two are seated at opposite ends of the group. Beneath a tree some distance away, Komeiji Satori takes cautious sips from her cup, with constant encouragement from her pet Kaenbyou Rin.

"So... Yukari, mind explaining why there are so many people at my shrine?" Hakurei Reimu asks the blonde human-like youkai seated next to her.

Yukari simply smiles in her usual inhuman way. "Why Reimu, isn't it obvious that sake tastes much better when drunk in the company of others?"

"You're up to something."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. May I interest you in a new bottle of sake? It's said to be very good."

"Sure, I'll have some ze!" A girl dressed in black and white clothing reminiscent of a witch holds out her cup.

"Marisa!" Reimu glares at her longtime friend. "She didn't offer it to you!"

Kirisame Marisa grins toothily. "Aw, don't sweat the small stuff ze! C'mon, pour me some of that sake, Yukari!"

The youkai chuckles. "Of course, of course, no need to rush. But there's enough for all," Yukari raises her voice so the others can hear. "So let's have a taste, shall we?"

_[In the Outside World]_

I stare at my reflection in the mirror as I wash my hands. A face with black eyes, short black hair, and a tan complexion stares back at me, its expression unreadable as usual. Sighing, I straighten up, making an effort not to fall into my usual slouch that puts me at a closer level to those around me, and head back to my table in the library.

And... the next part to memorize is... a single sheet filled with Japanese? But I didn't pack any...

Ah, what the hell. If I leave it aside, it's going to stay on my mind and interfere with my memorization. Let's see...

_[In Gensokyo]_

"So, what do you think of my idea? It sounds fun, doesn't it?" Yukari smiled slyly.

Reimu frowned, though it took a lot to do so. The alcohol she had been partaking of was far stronger than what she was normally used to.

"It's reck... reck...recklessss..." She slurred.

"C'mon, Reimu! It'll BE fine, ZE!" Marisa's irregular tone betrayed the fact that she wasn't much better.

"I picked one already, so let's see how he does on my test..."

As one, the girls present at the feast turned to look at the gap that Yukari opened.

_[In the Outside World]_

I took courses in Japanese outside of my university, so while the text on this paper uses non-syllabus material, it's easy enough for me to comprehend.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you do?

Zenryoku Zenkai, I wrote, knowing that the line had a double meaning. (1)

Living in a safe, unchanging life compared to a fast-paced life filled with variety, which do you prefer?

The one that is more fun, of course.

_[In Gensokyo]_

"Hoho~, this human writes some pretty interestin' stuff." A small girl with orange hair and two horns growing out of her head noted.

"Hey, Suika! Don't block, I can't see!"

"'Kay~, Yuugi." The little oni, Ibuki Suika, scooted a bit to her side to make way for her bigger counterpart, who had a single red horn adorned with a star protruding from her forehead.

"He's going through them pretty fast, ze." Marisa pointed out. "Those questions aren't too easy, are they?"

_[Back in the Outside World]_

What describes you the best?

The cloud. One more left.

What is the one thing you will always do?

Move ahead, no matter what.

Okay, that's done. I put the paper aside and resume the arduous task of memorization once more. Still, where the heck did that paper come from? Oh wait, I didn't check if there was anything on the back...

Silently, I stare at the place where I had placed the paper, seeing nothing but the wooden surface of the table. Uh... what the fuck?

Suddenly, the mood to study left me, and I decided to unwind a little by surfing the Internet for random stuff. Normally, I read fantasy-orientated stuff, maybe a bit of fanfiction, but usually anything that had an interesting storyline, be it movie synopses, book spoilers, manga chapters, etc. Yet, for no logical reason, I just started to read things like recipes, fighting techniques, electronics, things that were definitely far out of my field of interests.

It somehow feels... important. Like it'll come up in my test on pharmacology.

As if. I knock my head softly against the table, and focus back on my notes.

_[Returning to Gensokyo]_

"Mmhmm~. Interesting set of answers." Yukari murmured to herself as the others leaned around her trying to read over her shoulder.

"Yakumo!" The blue-haired girl dressed in red called out from beneath the shade of the frilly umbrella held by the maid behind her. "What did he write on that paper?"

"Read for yourself." The youkai stuck her hand through a gap that opened in the air before her, handing it straight to the one who had called her surname. "Now, what comes next is a matter... of... timing..."

Yakumo Yukari focused on the image of the teenager, clearly doing more than just looking, though no one could tell what she was truly up to.

_[Once more in the Outside World]_

Suddenly it feels very... very... I need some fresh air, right now. My water bottle's nearly empty, guess I'll go fill it up at the water cooler. Grabbing it, I get up once more and head for the lift that will take me to the fourth floor, where the exit and the water cooler are located, leaving my laptop on the desk.

No one's gonna take it. With so many students crammed in here, a potential thief has no way of knowing whether the guy seated next to me is a friend who's watching over my stuff. Door open, step in, hit the button for the fourth floor, door close...

Then the floor of the lift dropped out from beneath my feet, sending me into darkness.

_[In Gensokyo, for the final time]_

"There we go." Yukari said, cat-like satisfaction in her voice.

 

* * *

 

(1) 'Zenryoku Zenkai', it's a quote from the Nanoha 4-koma "Nanoha Nano!". As indicated, there are two meanings, one simply means 'Full power'. The other... 'Total annihilation'. XD


	2. Chapter 2

Second chapter, go.

 

* * *

# 2\. Chapter 1: Definitely hers

_"Ushiro Mae Mawari Ukemi!"_ (1)

The moment my feet contacted something solid, I relaxed my legs, letting myself fall backwards and smacking the floor with my hands to disperse the impact. It stung, but it was better than...

THUNK.

Ow! Forgot to tuck my head in! Grimacing, I clutch my head and curl up in a fetal position.

["Pretty big, isn't he?"] I hear someone, a girl, talking.

Memory check:

Name, can recall. History, Asian, nearly finished my first year of university. Skills, scattering of martial arts, most prominently Arnis. (2) Interests, books, anime & manga of the fantasy genre, music playlist that is predominantly Japanese. Social life, pretty much none, I'm a loner, thank you very much.

Memory check, completed. Imagination processes 100%. Physical capability, nothing broken, aches & bruises.

All in all, fine.

Blinking, I look around curiously. Wherever I was, it certainly wasn't the library at school. In fact, I doubt I'm even in my country anymore. There certainly isn't any Japanese shrine within twenty kilometers of my school, and the people surrounding me...

HOLY SHIT! Actual Touhou characters! I certainly know about the franchise, but the girls before me... I have no doubt that they are real. There's a certain authentic otherworldliness that not even the most authentic cosplay can duplicate.

Wait, that means there's only one person here that's responsible for me being in Gensokyo. I look over the crowd. There. Yakumo Yukari.

"[Woah, those clothes are weird ze!]" There's only one character I know who speaks like that.

This is just a T-shirt and jeans. But still, Japanese? Communicating might be a bit hard at this rate.

"[No need to worry. Here.]"

Before I noticed, Yukari was already in front of me, her upper body sticking through one of her gaps. I felt a shock run through my body from where her hand contacted my head, and then everything changed.

"Yakumo-san, what did you do?" I ask.

"You don't have to be so polite, Yukari is fine." She smiles down at me. "I just made it easier for you to understand us. Your Japanese is rather good for a non-native speaker, but not enough for here."

Huh, I thought of her name in the Japanese style first, but now it comes up the other way? From Yakumo Yukari to Yukari Yakumo. Just how powerful is she?

I blink and focus carefully on her. White dress with that purple length of cloth on top, marked with a symbol of the Eight Trigrams, trademark hat with ribbon, and pale pink parasol hanging off her wrist. The amusement in those golden eyes of hers is making me a bit uncomfortable, but I refuse to be cowed, and return her stare.

"Spirited, I see."

"You push, I push back." I stand up and glance past her at the other girls. "I suppose I should introduce myself?"

"By all means, please do so." The gap floats aside.

I clear my throat. "Pleased to meet you all, my name is..." I think for a moment. "Call me Ikuto. I'll be in your care from now on."

Most of them nod, apparently pleased with the polite way I had addressed them. Instantly, I can recognize all the player characters from the games, despite having only played the fighting ones. Others, such as Yuugi, Satori...

_Shit, Satori! Please excuse my thoughts... Also, if possible, could you not reveal what I know about this world?_

The purple-haired girl nods silently.

_Thank you._

I look around expectantly, waiting for someone to say something. So far, all of them are studying me like how I did with Yukari, which is a bit uncomfortable. Most of all, the girl with green hair is really, really close. Without thinking, I flick up her hat and poke her gently in the forehead.

Wait, what? Who the heck was... was there someone there just now? I blink, but none of the girls apart from Yukari was anywhere near me. Yellow shirt... was that my imagination?

Yukari snaps a fan open and covers her mouth. "Well, shall we get down to business?"

"Yukari, are you sure you want to do this?" Reimu asks loudly. "He's-"

"My dear Reimu, you promised, did you not?"

The grunt the miko made in response told me she regretted that promise quite a lot. Honestly, that really stirs my curiosity.

"Yukari-san, may I know the purpose you brought me here for?"

She shuts the fan and points it at me. "For fun."

"...whose?" I ask on purpose.

"Mine, mainly. But maybe yours." Her eyes glimmer with approval at my question. "Now, listen closely..."

Five minutes later, I am struggling with myself whether to shout in joy or to do a facepalm. Certainly, Yukari knew perfectly that I would accept things as they were no matter how fantastical due to all the fiction I had read, but telling me that she wanted me to try living in Gensokyo was a bit... screwed up. Well, youkai-rashii. (3) She's not human, no matter how much she looks like one. I have to remember that.

"Okay, let me rephrase and summarize what you just said, so I can be sure that I didn't miss a thing." I hold up a fist. "One," I straighten one finger. "You want me to live in Gensokyo."

Yukari nods. "That is correct."

"Two," I straighten a second finger. "I will be living with... at each... uhh, place, for a certain time."

"The time you spend depends on various factors."

"Three, I get to decide the order of whom I stay with."

"And that is all the main points of what I have just told you." Yukari prods me with her parasol. "If you wish to refuse, I certainly won't begrudge you for doing so. So, what will you do?"

"Can I borrow some paper and something to write on? I need a plan if I'm going to be staying here."

.

I've talked to most of the girls already, answering some of their questions in return for getting to know more about them. Reimu's attitude practically screamed 'I can't believe you're going along with Yukari', while Kamishirasawa Keine expressed a similar 'you must lack common sense' reaction. Aya was the hardest to deal with; for every one question I asked her, she returned with three. Not particularly helpful to my concentration.

"You're done?" Yukari prods me with her parasol again, except she's not hanging out of a gap this time.

"Pretty much." I lift it up for her to see. "Here's a bit of ranking."

> Hakurei Shrine -
> 
> Reimu, Suika, Marisa (doubt she stays at home much)
> 
> Risk rating: 1/5
> 
> Human Village-
> 
> Keine
> 
> Risk rating: 1/5
> 
> Myouren Temple
> 
> Byakuren, Shou, Ichirin, Nazrin, Nue
> 
> Risk rating: 2/5 (Youkai risk)
> 
> Hakugyokuro-
> 
> Yuyuko, Youmu
> 
> Risk rating: 2/5
> 
> Eientei-
> 
> Kaguya, Eirin, Reisen, Tewi, Mokou (separate residence)
> 
> Risk rating: 2/5
> 
> Forest of Magic-
> 
> Alice, Marisa (don't think she'll be at home)
> 
> Risk rating: 3/5
> 
> Moriya Shrine-
> 
> Kanako, Sanae, Suwako
> 
> Risk rating: 3/5 (it's on Youkai Mountain)
> 
> Youkai Mountain-
> 
> Aya, Momiji, Nitori
> 
> Risk rating: 4/5
> 
> Above the clouds-
> 
> Tenshi, Iku
> 
> Risk rating: 4/5 (Traveling up there would be dangerous)
> 
> Underground-
> 
> Satori, Utsuho, Orin, Yuugi
> 
> Risk rating: 4/5 (maybe 5/5 given it being underground)
> 
> Scarlet Devil Mansion-
> 
> Remilia, Sakuya,Patchouli, Meiling, Flandre (X)
> 
> Risk rating: 5/5

"Mmhm~. This is quite the list you've made." Yukari comments. "Certainly, the place where the Celestials dwell would be a four out of five, but I'm more inclined to think it's because of that stupid girl."

"I don't think she's that bad." I reply defensively, ignoring the snorts of disbelief from around me.

"Well, no matter. So which place would you prefer to start with first?" Yukari folds the paper and hands it back to me. "Here? Or the human village?"

I straighten up, towering over everyone else apart from Yuugi and those who are floating, and look at each of the groups I listed in turn. Then I face the ones I would be staying with and bow respectfully.

"I'm in your care from now on."

 

* * *

 

(1) Back break fall

(2) Filipino stick-fighting martial art

(3) -rashii is a Japanese expression that means 'just like-'. I just felt like using it for no reason.

As you might have guessed, I use [ ] for translated Japanese, underlines for romanized Japanese, and italics for thoughts, though I might use italics within normal sentences to emphasize words or for certain things, like that red gate that is found at the shrine, the torii.


End file.
